The War on Teddy Continues!

Greetings Friends!
It's been a busy week for me. I expected to post last Sunday, but I decided to take down Trumblebunks instead (again.) He's up to his old tricks with The War on Christmas.

The America First God Squad is up in arms over Happy Holidays and Seasons Greetings. I've got news for you Trumblebumpkins, this is America. Here in America we respect all religions.

As I celebrate Kwanzaa this year, I take time to appreciate the differences of those who choose to follow alternate lifestyles, like Teddy.Teddy is here visiting me for the holidays down in Baton Rouge, and when he's not in his red, white and blue speedo (and no, there's not much of a flag pole apparently) he's been running around seeing who will wish him Merry Christmas.

This is it Trumblebunks. The rest of my warriors are on to you now. No where to run, no where to hide. It's judgement day for Theodore Trumblebunks, and the world now knows he's crazy.

-Franklin Willington

Sorry for the delay

Greetings friends,

I am horribly sorry for not posting in so long. You must understand that as a career learner, I am at times lost in my studies. Right now, we here at Louisiana State are in the middle of finals. I will be coming back to the blog full time starting on Sunday with a new edition of my Most overrated Presidents Series. Here's a hint, he was white, older than 35, and rich! Keep an eye out for the newly reborn Frank Willington saves the world and remember.....HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Screw you Trumblebunks!

-Franklin Willington

The final Countdown

Greetings friends!

I greatly apologize from my absence from the blog. I know you were all lost without me. So let me bring you up on the news.

Republicans have continued to destroy our Constitution and attack Democrats as being unamerican. George Bush has been flip flopping like a real expert lately, and now Democrats are going to win both houses of Congress!

Victory is inevitable friends! I don't know how old Trumblebumpkins feels over there, but the tide is clearly turning. What's brought this about? I have to say that all of you, the Willington Warriors have been doing your job. You took the Word of Franklin Willington and brought it to the masses. I have to say thank you.

Over the next two weeks the America First God Squad will try to portray the Democrats as immoral, political hacks that would do anything to destroy America. They will say that the terrorists want Democrats to win because they know that we are soft on security. That couldn't be closer to the truth. Of course the terrorists want democrats to win. And so do Americans. Finally something we can all agree on.

So now I take this time to call on Teddy Trumblebunks to concede the midterm elections. Just like 2004, a Democratic victory is clear. Teddy, I want to save you the pain of waiting for election night. Just come out and congratulate the Franklin Willington Saves the World audience for their midterm 2006 elections

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday with Willington (taking down Teddy edition)

Greetings friends
Today's edition of Wednesday with Willington is clearly planned to destroy that Trumblebunks fellow and bring down his Thrusday with Theodore. Hope you enjoy his demise.

How loudly did you cheer Hugo Chavez's despicable remarks about our divinely-inspired President today?-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq

As I have said before Teddy, I only by my gas straight off the boat from Venezuela. So of course I was thrilled, I can’t tell you how long I’ve been saying the same things that Hugo said yesterday. Finally a voice of moderation steps to the plate and calls Bush a Devil, now I’m hoping that when he made the Sign of the Cross, that he only did so in jest. I don’t know his personal religious feelings, but as you know I am strongly against church and state.


Jack X is apparently having a religious crisis. He has a problem dealing with changes that his priest has made to the mass. So this week he asks what should i do--go elsewhere or face the music or confront or something else?

It’s quiet clear Jack, that you hate Jesus just as much as I do. He’s a fraud, and so is his church. It’s time you start worshipping number 1: Al Gore. That’s right, come over to the church of Al. Al is all you need to face the dangers of the Bush administration head on. Just pray to Gore every night and you’ll be ok Jack.

A New Attack

Greetings Friends,

Today I received a grave threat to our nation as a link from a friend http://www.armorofgodpjs.com/

It's quite clear what the America First God Squad is doing. They want to get after our children with trendy pajamas! How dare they try to poison our children's minds with talk of how Jesus can protect them from evil?!?!

They made a mistake folks, they put their battle plan on their website for old Frankoin to see it:

"Although we are a new company, our desire is to growinto a well-known Christian Organization whose main goal is to reach as many children as possible by providing the Word of God, offering top quality products and excellent customer service along with offering parents the means and support to help their children grow in the knowledge of Jesus Christ."

I don't want children to know Jesus. Jesus was nothing but a criminal whom the right has vindicated by calling him "savior." Of course they would honor Jesus. He convinced a tax collector to quit his job and follow him. How exactly were they supposed to help the poor without tax money? I guess Jesus believed in trickle-down economic policy.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. That's why I, Franklin Willington am designing Franklin Willington Saves the World Pajamas for kids and adults:

As you can see, the girls pajamas come with pants, while the men will come with Capri's....which are great to sleep in. Keep in mind these are rough designs, we may change the dots on the boy's pajamas to flowers and add some lace later on.

Send in your requests for this new item to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday with Willington Weekend Edition

Greetings friends,

I apologize once again for my lateness. I recently started a new job to go along with my educational responsibilities. As you all know, there's only so much of Franklin to go around.

But alas, I bring you the late edition of Wednesday with Willington

This week, Teddy asks:

Willington, Sunday, Vice President Cheney said that the Bush Administration has done a "helluva job" in fighting the war on terror. Do you agree, or do you wish to appease the terrorists?



What do you think I want Teddy? If we appease them, they will realize that we're really not that bad. Then they won't attack us anymore. Take an international relations class Ted.



That's it for this week. Keep the questions coming
-Franklin Willington

This week's true patriot

Greetings Friends,

So football season continued to roll on this past weekend friends, and I want to give you this week's top 10 teams in the country

1. LSU- Justin Vincent is a formidable heisman candidate due to his proficient blocking on passing downs

2. USC- The best team from my favorite city

3 UCLA- The second best team from my favorite city

4. Cal- They're from California...any other questions?

5. Stanford- See # 4

6. Wyoming- The QB has the vision of Dick Cheney on a quail farm.

7. Rutgers- They're from New York

8. The Saints- Reggie Bush is from California

9. Harvard- Ivey League

10. Yale- Same

And this week's true patriot is Pete Carroll

He's led West Coast Football into the national spotlight

Remember friends, email your questions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Teddy Trumblebumpkins is on the Run!!!!

Greetings friends,

Today is a great day for America. Conservatives in congress admitted that some of the evidence that led to our war with Iraq was "fabricated." Let's face it, Bush lied, and finally republicans are seeing it.

Teddy Trumblebumpkins on his blog today while talking about the war in Iraq, mentioned all "that shit" that our boys are fighting in. If the war was going well, there wouldn't be shit. At last, Trumblebumpkins admits that we are not winning the war.

I want Teddy to join me in calling for the resignation of Donald Rumsfeld. Let's get someone into office who can clean "that shit" up. It's time to cut through the doublespeak and let's get someone who is going to be honest with us, like Al Franken.

I, Franklin Willington, call for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation. I also support Al Franken for Secretary of Defense. Join me in my call.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday with Willington Reloaded

Greetings friends,

I have to apologize for my absence lately. As you all know, I consider myself a lifetime learner, and with school having started recently I've been bogged down with work, school, and saving the world by myself. It's hard work.

Without further ado, I bring you the rebirth of Wednesdays with Willington, leaner, meaner and more insightful than ever.

From our good friend Jack X

What needs to be done, if anything, in order to expedite the recovery of Hurricane Katrina?

Thanks for the question Jack. I've done a lot of research, mostly watching the news and listening to Kanye West, and let me tell you. I have the answer. You see, when Kanye said that George Bush hates black people, he was really just cracking the surface of a systemmic problem that plagues our government. That problem: Republicans. You see, Republicans hate black people. That's why Democrats need to take back Congress. New Orleans will only be rebuilt if there are Democrats controlling every single level of government. Republicans have long held down New Orleans and it's citizens, and it's time to take a stand. That's why I'm officially calling off my ban on liberal voting (remember when I wanted Franklin Willington day?). That's right liberals, it's time to start lining up for the November 7th elections. It's your duty.



The Rethuglican writes

If you had to pick just one, which moment in the aftermath of Katrina was President George W. Bush's strongest?-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

I don't know what moment was the strongest Teddy. Maybe it was when he was playing guitar while people were dying. Or maybe it was when he flew overhead on airforce one for his first post-Katrina photo-op. Or maybe it was when he stood in Jackson Square and promised to actually rebuild the city and create new opportunities for it's residents to become homeowners. One year, and vastly inflated home prices later, many of those residents still reside in FEMA trailers outside the city. Which of these do you view as his strongest moment Teddy?


Friends, I am glad to be with you once again. There are exciting changes ahead for FWSW. Stay tuned for our current features, The Most Overrated Presidents, True Patriots and Wednesdays with Willington. And keep an eye out for some new features and attitudes.

-Franklin Willington

It's that time of the year

Greetings friends,

The town is covered with the smell of grills, jambalaya, and exhaust from traffic grinding to a halt. That's right folks, it's football season. And with football season comes my favorite time of the year: Protest season.

Every year I fire up the Prius, load up my bullhorn and posterboards and head down to LSU to protest the purple and gold confederate flag. You see, some people protest people having the flags, I protest those protesting the right of the protestors to protest.

The rebel flag is a serious issue, which I refuse to take a stand on. You see, I feel that my most important job is not to actually address the real issue, but to find side step that issue, just like Chancellor O'Keefe.

He is a shining example of doing nothing to address an actual issue. He said he's against the flag, but refuses to ban it, straddling the fence like a real patriot. Sean O'Keefe is my idol when it comes to taking a stand for free speech by taking no stand at all.

Sean O'Keefe, a true American Patriot:


-Franklin Willington

New Orleans Remembered

Greetings Friends,

This image that I created is all the message I will leave you with today, I will just remind you that tomorrow is another edition of Wednesdays with Willington, please send me a Katrina related question to franklinwillington@yahoo.com .

-Franklin Willington

This Week's True Patriot: Ray Nagin

Greetings Friends,

This week I will be focusing on a subject that is near and dear to me. Tomorrow is the one year anniversiary of 8/29. This week, I feel it appropriate to name Ray Nagin a true patriot.


You see, when Bush was playing guitar in San Diego, before flying over New Orleans for an Air Force One photo-op, Ray Nagin was down in the thick of things on 8/29. When people wouldn't listen, Ray just spoke louder.

Sure Ray has said some blunt things in the aftermath of 8/29, but they needed to be said. Everyone wants a chocolate New Orleans. Chocolate is much more pleasant than the smell the city had before!

When Ray was challenged by an America-First-God-Squad reporter on the speed of recovery in post 8/29 New Orleans, he pointed out that the World Trade Center is still nothing but a hole in the ground. If you don't respect Ray after 8/29, don't expect any in return.

Another thing that I respect about Ray Nagin is that he's a recovering Republican. That's right folks. Ray used to be one of them way back before 8/29. He supported George Bush in 2000 and Bobby Jindal in 2003. He wasn't a democrat until he decided to run for mayor, but now, after 8/29, I'm proud to say that he's in my corner.


Don't change Ray! Keep telling them like it is, even if they don't like it. The America-first-God-Squad media will keep attacking you, but I'll always have your back. Ray Nagin, true American patriot.

-Franklin Willington

The Overrated Presidents Series

Greetings Friends,

I am pleased to introduce a new series to the blog. I'm going to point out some of the most overrated Presidents in the history of the country. Not all of them may be obvious, and we will certainly have some disagreements. If you would like to voice your opinion on my choices, feel free to email me franklinwillington@yahoo.com or just feel free to post a comment. I will also take recommendations.

This week's most overrated President: Abraham Lincoln.



Abraham Lincoln gets a lot of credit for what he did. Saving the Union, freeing the slaves, blah, blah blah, etc. What people fail to talk about is what he didn't do.

Abraham Lincoln completely ignored foreign policy! Because of Abraham Lincoln, we lost ground to those that want to do us harm. He failed to secure our ports, and under his watch more Americans died on our soil than in any other single event in our history.

Now the save-the-union-first crowd will say that he did what he had to do in order to save this great experiment in democracy. But I think Lincoln failed to protect Americans. Does this remind you of anyone else? George W. Bush and the modern Republicans perhaps? Like Bush, he talked a big game, but in the end he failed to deliver. That's a Republican for you.

How can the America first God squad historians defend his non-existant foreign policy? I demand that Lincoln be put in his place. Honest Abe was an honest failure.

-Franklin Willington

Fighting them over there

Greetings Friends!

I want to put a challenge to you, the true patriots out there that are helping me Save the World. It's time to take our message to the masses!

I urge you to go to Conservative blogs and message boards and tell them why they're wrong. Tell them why George Bush has our country in a downward spiral. And when you find them and get them on the run, point them here, to Franklin Willington Saves the World.

Wherever there are conservatives attacking you, show them the truth. Link them here, to your hub for all that is wrong with America.

Let's start by taking it to Teddy Trumblebunks! It's time to take over the web!

Remember to keep the faith (in yourself)

-Franklin Willington

Update: War on Freedom Bandz

Greetings friends,

I've been keeping the administration on edge with the growing success of the War on Freedom Bandz. Ever since calling for a boycott on American Made products, the economy has stalled.

Let me say that I'm proud of the progress that we've made. And today I am proud to make an announcement:

That's right folks: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!! We did it!

Theodore Trumblebunks admitted defeat for his side in announcing "Teddy's Troopers." You see, if you join his "fan club," you get a bumper sticker, which of course must be manufactured in China!

Woohoo! We did a heckuva job! I am proud of you patriots! It's a great day when Teddy Trumble-America First God Squad-Bunks admits his own defeat. Thanks to you, we have Saved the World once again!

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington Volume VIII

Greetings Friends!

I know you've been itching with anticipation for the next edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Let me say that I am quite pleased that in my answers, I am offering life changing information to you, dear readers. Can you believe this site is free?

Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Willington,
Do you actually oppose Fox News' suggestion that there should be a separate Muslim line at the airport? Why do you hate freedom and security?

Of course not Trumblebunks, I believe that we should treat them like royalty. Why subject our visitors to the same treatment that we get? You’re a big fan of that Jesus fellow, aren’t you? Didn’t he say that you should to “turn the other cheek?” It’s in the bible. So when Arabs get their on line, the screeners need to just turn the other cheek, it’s what Jesus would do.


Since Time asked, what is your take on Hillary?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

You dare to speak the great one’s name? Bill’s wife is, in my opinion, the greatest human being in the history of mankind. She’s the perfect picture of femininity. So strong and brave, yet so gentle, sweet, and beautiful. Let me just say, I’d like to tap that. She’s got my vote.


Jack X writes

Dear Frank,
Let's say Hollywood decides to make a movie about Hurricane Katrina--the storm, the political humps associated with it, etc. Which actors do you think should play George W. Bush, Kathleen Blanco, Michael Brown, Ray Nagin, and other people associated with the storm (such as evacuees, Aaron Broussard, Mary Landrieu, David Vitter, Haley Barbour, etc.) and why?
I hope that question is interesting for you and you enjoy answering it.


There is a movie Jack. it was made by Spike Lee. It tells the truth about Katrina, like how George Bush dropped bombs out of Air Force one and blew up the levees. Did you know that Kanye West is in the documentary? I remember when he was standing there, you know at the superdome helping get aid to people and getting them out of harms way, and saying that George Bush hate’s black people. That Kanye, he’s quite the giver. I live by his workout plan.


Well folks, that does it for this weeks Wednesday with Willington. Keep the questions flowing and stay tuned for an update on the War on Freedom Bandz!

-Franklin Willington

This week's true patriot

Greetings Friends!

This week's true patriot is a real American Hero. Aside from being a former POW, he also has the ability to flip from hard-core Republican to moderate whenever the poll's say it's in his favor. This week's true patriot is John McCain.

You see, I admire McCain. No one has straddled both sides of the fence better than ol' Johnny boy. He's been a die hard supporter of the Bush administration and especially the war in Iraq.

McCain is now saying he believes the administration has made a mistake by not telling the American people how tough the war in Iraq would be. Bingo Senator, now you see it my way.

When McCain says that it would be a mistake to set a date for withdrawal, he is saying that he believes we need to fluctuate our strength. We need to pull our troops out and put them back in several times until our boys are ready to break the surface of the situation.

I want to make myself clear on the Iraq topic. We should have never gone into Iraq in the first place, but now that we are there, I don't believe in pulling out early. We have to stay inserted deep inside Iraq until she reaches her climax. John McCain agrees with me, that is until the public believes Bush is doing a good job with the war.

-Franklin Willington

p.s. remember to send quesitions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

Historic day for America

Greetings Friends!

I have to apologize for the lack of Wednesdays with Willington this week. I've been a little under the weather and much like T.O., I don't know how to post at less than 100%. I will make it up to you next Wednesday.

Today is a great day friends, Snakes on a Plane is now in theaters! I've been waiting on this all summer. You see, some may say that the snakes are terrorists, but I believe that the snakes are Republicans.

That's right George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Bill Frist, they're all there. Samuel L Jackson is of course Howard Dean, leading the American people safely through the dangers posed by the republican party.

Enough is Enough, we've had it with these mothaf'n snakes running our mothaf'n government!




Watch out Republicans, Samuel L. Jackson is coming for you!


-Franklin Willington

Reminder: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

I just want to remind everyone that tomorrow is another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Remember to send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

This Weeks True Patriot

Greetings Friends,

It's that time for another edition of my "true patriot" series. This week was very difficult, until, like an angel, this patriot's story fell in my lap. This week's true patriot, is America's Mother, Cindy Sheehan.

While it's no news to you friends, Ms. Sheehan has been leading the anti-war movement since losing her son in the Iraq war.

I would have saluted her earlier, but now Ms. Sheehan has truly earned the respect of us all. First she bought land near Bush's ranch in Crawford Texas, and now Mrs. Sheehan has made an even greater sacrifice.

Cindy was on a liquid diet to protest the war in Iraq for more than a month, and only ended her Ghandi-esque strike when she was hospitalized in Seattle after protesting for several days. Then she was hospitalized again in Dallas on Friday.

Talk about committment! I dare conservatives to attack this poor victim who has risen above and beyond the call of duty. She is truly a patriot of the highest degree!

I, Franklin Willington, would like to announce that I will be making a similar sacrifice. I will not drink any of my vast French Wine collection until George Bush brings the troops home. If it's not done in the next week, I will then give up my cheese assortment. It's time for bold action friends.

Thank you Cindy Sheehan for being a true patriot!

-Franklin Willington

Great Idea by Gov. Blanco

Greetings Friends,

As you all know, I love taxes. When the Governor of New Jersey was in a standoff with the legislature over raising the sales tax there, I suggested that he wasn't asking for enough of an increase. Now, here in my home state, Gov. Kathleen Blanco has proposed to place a toll on Interstates in the Southern part of the state.

Now, anyone familiar with South Louisiana, in particular my current home of Baton Rouge, knows quite well that the interstate is really the lifeline of the area. The city is spread out across a large area, so getting from one place of interest to another can be impossible without use of these major roadways.

Governor Blanco however apparently is aiming too low. She was seeking a 1.00 toll on cars and 2.50 on trucks. And get this, you could pay only half of that if you paid ahead of time. What kind of quality tax is that? I'm ready to do my part, Governor, step up and call on the rest of the state to do theirs. I say we should all pay 5.00 for each ride on the interstate.

In honor of this great proposal, I stood today along I-10 with a collection basket asking drivers during rush-hour traffic to pay 1.00 to use our magnificent road system. I'm considering spreading this effort out to surface streets and shopping malls. If you want to use our public roadways, you should be prepared to pay. From the looks of drivers on the interstate, they loved my work today. I can't tell you the last time I had so many people wave to me. Some apparently even thought my idea was #1.

Now when I got home from my work today, I was shocked to see on the news that Governor Blanco had folded to pressure from Republican "Hurricane-victim-first" Senator David Vitter. Yesterday Vitter began crying that this plan would hurt those trying to evacuate during hurricanes, and that it would also hurt business and trucking interests. Boo hoo Senator Vitter, I think after 8/29 people should be willing to pay to get out of the path of the hurricane. As a matter of fact, I propose that we double the toll during hurricane evacuations. What an opportunity!

So Governor Blanco, man up and tell Senator Vitter that you don't care what he thinks. Help us all by charging us more to live. It's the least we can do for the service that you've provided this state.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington Volume VII

Greetings Friends!

Today’s email revolves mostly around the Lieberman primary.

Jack X writes:

Do you believe Ned Lamont's victory emboldened the terrorists in England?

Jack, nothing could be further from the truth. Ned Lamont is a patriot. Terrorists fear Ned Lamont. They know that if Ned Lamont is elected we will pull out of Iraq and scale back security. That’s exactly what the terrorists don’t want to see. They want a challenge against our heightened state of security. The terrorists love George Bush and Joe Lieberman.


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Willington,

How did you and your "partners" celebrate the loss of our democracy last night (i.e., the Lamont win)?

The first thing I did was sit in a leather chair and eat a bowl of Cocoa puffs just to mock Lieberman and Colbert and their ilk. Then I ran naked through the streets waving the Connecticut flag. Sure, my neighbors thought it was weird that I had a Connecticut flag, but I’ve been preparing for VC day for awhile. I don’t know when I’ll come down off of this high Trumblebunks!

Thanks for the submissions friends, stay tuned for more on the current terror situation. Remember to go ahead and send in your emails for next week to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington Delayed

Greetings Friends,

I have to apologize, but I must postpone Wednesdays with Willington. At the earliest it will be up by late tonight but most likely tomorrow. Please send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Frankin Willington

Another True Patriot

Greetings Friends,

Besides the Joe Lieberman primary, there is another primary today drawing attention across the country. I've already discussed why Ned Lamont is the man for Connecticut, now I want to discuss Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney.

Ms. McKinney is in a battle for her political life today in her primary. I want to throw my support behind her.

You see, Ms. McKinney is crazy...Crazy about America that is. She has done her best to represent the people of her district and to fight the America First God Squad from taking over our country.

Cynthia has been fighting in the halls of Congress for the American people. She's fighting them over there, in Washington, so we don't have to fight them over here, at home.

So citizen's of Georgia's 4th district, don't be alarmed by Cynthia's passion to represent you. Embrace her, and send her back to Washington to represent us all.

Cythia McKinney, a fighter and a true American patriot.

-Franklin Willington

Next week's true patriot

Greetings Friends!

I want to get an early start on next weeks entry in my "True Patriot" series. You see, there's an important election next week, and I want to give all of the news outlets an opportunity to announce my endorsement.

I, Franklin Willington, am officially throwing my support behind Ned Lamont in Tuesday's Senate primary in Connecticut. For the press, that's F-R-A-N-K-L-I-N Space W-I-L-L-I-N-G-T-O-N.

You see, Ned Lamont is a true patriot. Why? Because he wants to bring the troops home! Why does he want to bring the troops home? Because that's the popular position that will help him beat Joe Lieberman, former true patriot turned America First God Squad cheerleader.

If Ned has anything going for him, it's that he's not Joe Lieberman. Now don't get me wrong, I respect Joe. I even felt the Joementum at one point in 2004.

Joe knows when he's wrong and keeps on being wrong. I respect that. But sometimes, you need someone that can get in there and make things right.

Also, Joe Lieberman may be in a passionate love triangle with the president. I'm not one to accuse someone of being homosexual, but I'm sure you've seen the picture of the passionate French kiss he shared with Bush. If Ned Lamont was going to make out with a president, he'd do Bill Clinton. He's a real democrat, and a true patriot.

So Connecticut, take a stand and vote for Ned Lamont.

-Franklin Willington

Speak Softly and Carry No Stick at All

Greetings Friends,

It's a sad day here in Franklin Willingtonville. I'm afraid we may not have saved America yet at all. In fact, I'd say we've taken a few steps back.

You see, back in 2004 upon Bush's re-election, the question was asked, how can more than 50% of Americans be so studpid? I was dumbfounded. I've never felt that way before, and thought I never would again, then this from CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/04/bush.poll/index.html

You see, only 43% of Americans disapprove of the President's handling of the mid-east crisis. 43%?!?!?!!?! Bush has been more concerned with the pig he shared with the German chancellor than he's been with the middle east.

His brilliant policy: block a cease fire. That's right, 43% of Americans approve of the President blocking any attempt at peace. Who knows why? Maybe it's the ultimate Wag the Dog strategy. Instead of creating a war to hide your domestic scandals, you create a proxy war to hide your own war that you screwed up.

How can Americans be so stupid? Oh wait, they elected him in 2000 and 2004.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume VI

Greetings Friends

Welcome to another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Let's get right to the email:

Jack X writes

Hey, Frank,
I'm back from the trip to the summit. I must ask--Ken Jennings wrote in his internet blog that Alex Trebek is really a "robot." Do you think this is true--if so, how did scientists build such a perfect Asimov-type robot?


Alex Trebek has long been a role model of mine, ever since I saw him with Sean Connery on his little program. I love how Mr. Trebek knows all of the answers, a lot like me, Franklin Willington. Alex isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong.

The allegation that Mr. Trebek is a robot is preposterous. Just because Trebek has had more women than Wilt Chamberlain is no reason for Jennings to attack him. Perhaps if Mr. Jennings moved out of his mother’s basement he might be able to get a piece of ass, just like that stud Trebek.


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Do you think Nick Saban left LSU because he's a commie liberal who couldn't take working and living in an area with real Americans?

Nick Saban is a good friend of mine Mr. Trumblebunks, and I will not stand for your McCarthy-esque attacks on his character. He didn’t have dinner with the President because he realizes that George W. Bush is an enemy of real Americans.

Real Americans aren’t the flag waving, rusty trombone loving fakers named Trumblebunks. Real Americans are the white collar educated elite from California and the North East that should be running this country. Nick Saban left LSU to be closer to real Americans along the east coast.

Thanks for your submissions this week. Keep 'em coming folks

-Franklin Willington

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

Just a reminder that tomorrow will be another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Please send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

I'm hoping to get some good questions instead of the ridiculously biased America First God Squad questions that you guys asked me last week. Think before you submit geniuses

-Franklin Willington

This week's true patriot

Greetings Friends,

I want to take this opportunity to introduce you to another American patriot, former LSU Coaching God and current Miami Dolphins coach Nick Saban.

Coach Saban turned down an invitation to have dinner with President Bush. Great move Coach! You are my hero!

Now, Coach Saban claims that he turned down the dinner because of his responsibilities at training camp, but we all know the truth. Nick Saban realizes that President Bush is a threat to this country, and Nick Saban never deals with losers.

Also, it's been widely reported that back in the day Bush had a drug problem. Saban has already been burned by Ricky Williams, why trust the President? Thanks for being a positive role model for the kids!

You can read the story here:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2535374


Thank you Coach Saban for being a real American patriot.

-Franklin Willington

Belated Birthday

Greetings Friends,

I have to apologize for missing a recent milestone in the history of Franklin Willington Saves the World. I missed our one month anniversary! I don’t know what to say.

I don’t like to take credit for the downfall of the Bush administration, but let’s give credit where credit is due. Since coming on the scene Cowboy Diplomacy has been declared dead, George Bush came out about his affection for pigs, and we’ve gotten so much closer to world peace. I didn’t do it by myself, but I didn’t have much help until recently.

In the months to come there will be many exciting new things coming. Hopefully Congress will get to work on Franklin Willington day (and with the evidence I’ve presented today, how could they not?). I’m currently working on the planning stages of the annual “Franklin Willington’s Horn of Plenty for All” campaign for this Thanksgiving.

Stay tuned to this exciting time for this blog and for the world, it’s only going to get better!

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume V

Greetings Friends!

Welcome to the much delayed fifth edition of Wednesdays with Willington. I apologize once again for my absence last week. Apparently many of you took notice.

Theodore Trumblebunks writes

Willington,
How many same-sex "couples" did you see while on your little trip? And how many "adventures" with such people did you participate in?


Let me tell you Trumblebunks, it was beautiful to see so many people who have found that special someone. I participated in many events with them, going out to bars, checking into hotels, and talking about the America First God Squad and how they hold us back.

Trumblebunks there is nothing unnatural about same sex couples. They are just as American as you and I. Unlike you, I didn’t have anyone offer to show me their rusty trombone.

Graham writes

Hey Franky,
The other day you mentioned that "I met liberal patriots from Massachussets to Nevada, and let me say that the republicans don't know what hit them." Do you find it Ironic that as all of you bloody liberals were about to embark on St. Louis that they experienced the worst weather in quite some time. Kind of like Katrina. Don't you think it's ironic that they didn't know "what hit them" as you liberals attacked their city for your convention. Look at what you liberals do.


First of all, let me thank the great city of St. Louis for their hospitality. The only problem I had was that our little gathering was held at a religious university. Kind of an oxymoron don’t you think?

As far as you accusation that somehow we liberals brought the wrath of god down on that city, how dare you? Could it be the fact that god was making the city pay attention to the winds of change? Could it be that he was punishing them for being in a red state? How can you even blame us?

First New Orleans was hit by a hurricane…nothing democratic about that. Now New York City and California are plagued with heat waves and power outages…what does that have to do with liberals? Open your eyes God Squader before god comes after you for your sins.


That does it for this week, I hope it was worth waiting for. Conservatives, Frankie's back. It's time to pray for your salvation from my wrath.

-Franklin Willington

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

I want to remind you about the return of Wednesdays with Willington. Please remember to email me your questions. Feel free to ask about my trip or anything political.

-Franklin Willington

Welcome Back

Greetings Friends!

What a wonderful experience I had this past weekend. I've never felt so alive.

I had the opportunity to listen to many great patriots like Gov. Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi. I met liberal patriots from Massachussets to Nevada, and let me say that the republicans don't know what hit them.

Now, some may criticize us for having parties and ignoring a city in crisis following one of the worst storms in its history, but I must say it wasn't all work. We did sit in training sessions learning about how to save America.

Send your questions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday with Willington Cancelled

Greetings Friends,

I apologize for my absence, it's been a hectic weekend. I have been preparing for a magical journey to the Show me State.

I, Franklin Willington, will be leaving tomorrow for a liberal convention of fellow lifetime learners. What better place to take our fight than right to the heartland?

As the President says, we have to fight them over there, so we don't have to fight them here. I'm planning spontaneous protests throughout the midwest. Trumblebunks, you've got your notice. I'm heading your way.

Well friends, I'm sorry that I have to leave you. I will be returning on Monday, and it's unlikely I will be able to post until then.

Feel free to email this weeks questions anyway for a very special "Monday with Willington"

Until Monday, keep the faith (in yourself)

-Franklin Willington

War on Freedom Bandz Update

Greetings Friends,

It’s my honor to report to you with an update on the War on Freedom Bandz. Ladies and Gentleman, it is quite clear that our effort is a smash hit so far.

The last few days Wall Street has really felt the effect of my call for a boycott on American goods. The stock market is down over 400 points in 3 days!!!! What else could have such an impact other than the Franklin Willington Saves the World audience?

Also the price of oil is skyrocketing. Why? Because I refuse to buy my gas from American stations. Unfortunately, hybrids still take some gas, but I import all of my gasoline straight from Canada.

Now some might say that instability in the middle east is to blame for this. Clearly those people are part of the America First God Squad conservative media. It’s obvious to any of us objective Americans that Franklin Willington is once again saving America.

Now I know it may get tough, but stay strong in the face of opposition. Only the weak crumble, ask Joe Lieberman.

Now just a reminder to my fellow Louisiana liberals, tomorrow is election day in a lot of parishes. Remember, no matter what anyone tells you, you’re voice will best be heard by not voting tomorrow. It’s the only way to get Congress to take notice. We won’t vote until you make Nov. 23 Franklin Willington day!

Keep the faith (in yourself)

-Franklin Willington

Holy Injustice

Greetings Friends!

What a great time for justice! First the supreme court ruled that President Bush couldn’t create military tribunals for prisoners at Gitmo and now the Pentagon has announced that they will be extending these poor folks the rights granted to them under the Geneva Convention. Take that Bush. Just like Time said, Cowboy Diplomacy is dead!

But not all is right at Gitmo, which is why I believe the prison should still be closed. You see, we still allow these folks to practice their religion in a government ran detention facility. Haven’t these foreigners heard about the separation of church and state? Do they not care about the rights granted to me under the constitution?

If anyone in any government ran facility is practicing religion it must be stopped. I don’t care if it’s on the northern most tip of Alaska or in Cuba, like Gitmo. We must stop this blatant violation of my constitutional rights!

On the same note, why do we allow prisoners anywhere to practice religion in a government run facility? We’re paying with our tax dollars to house these inmates, and I don’t won’t my money going to helping some murderer “find Jesus.” In order to get tough on crime, we’ve got to get tough on Jesus. Remember, he was a criminal himself. How do we know that “talking to Jesus” isn’t just code for some big crime spree they’re planning?

Like I said, get God out of our prisons. Both the illegal detention camps for foreigners who have no right to prove their innocence, and legal prisons housing predominantly poor minority citizens.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume IV

Greetings Friends,

Welcome to another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Tonights two readers provided multiple questions.


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

If you like hybrids so much, fine, but why won't you drive an American car?

What American hybrid do you propose I drive? The only one I can think of are trucks, and they aren’t very good hybrids. Let’s face it Teddy, the Americans are behind the rest of the world in automotive engineering. Even if they weren’t remember that I’m boycotting all American made products until all patriotic products are made overseas.


Do You Yahoo!?

What a ridiculous question Trumblebunks!?!?!?! Did you read my email address? Of course I use yahoo.

Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.

I already am my own boss Ted. Remember, I’m a lifetime learner. Are you trying to tell me I need to go into business?


Jack X writes:

Dear Frank,
What is the biggest tree you've ever hugged? He he he.

What a smug question. I hug trees every chance I get. The good thing is that trees can’t talk back like women. I really love trees. To answer your question, I’ve hugged the great American Redwood.


Ok, a more serious question. What do you think of the proposed video game law banning violent games to minors in Louisiana?

I think it’s awful. We need to train our kids to be killing machines without guns. I propose that we hand these games out to little kids starting in about fifth grade. They’re going to do it anyway, so why not train them to be an international fighting force for the United Nations.



Thanks for the emails. I invite more of our readers to participate in Wednesdays with Willington. It's easy, just send any question to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

Thanks again,

-Franklin Willington

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

I just want to remind you that tomorrow is another episode of Wednesdays with Willington. I hope you will send in your questions and that I can provide the insight you need.

Send your questions to: franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Winning the War on Evolution

Greetings Friends,

Today I took a trip to the local public library. These great institutions of knowledge stand as pillars of our society.

I’m proud to report that in this area we have defeated the America First God Squad. Books on Evolution can easily be found, along with other scientific topics. I’m going to overlook the fact that there are religious and patriotic themed books….for now.

It’s time for conservatives, like Trumblebunks, to admit that evolution is an accepted fact. That’s why I’m proposing the Franklin Willington Law of Evolution. I’m hoping this passes the appropriate authorities in time to be officially announced on Franklin Willington Day (Nov. 23.…remember that Congress!!!!!!!!)

Now that we’ve established that Liberals have won the debate on this scientific issue, I propose that we consider the debate on cloning resolved. I’m willing to offer my own DNA for the first human clone. If nature can get it right this right the first time around, just imagine what science could do with me. Can you say “Franklin Willington clone army?”

Be sure and take a trip to the library and thank your librarians. Check out a few religious books and burn them. It’s the least we can do to help such a noble institution.

-Franklin Willington

The Masterdebater Series

Greetings Friends,

What a weekend! I am pleased to tell you that I spent the weekend recharging my batteries after kicking conservative ass last week during fourth of July celebrations.

I am also pleased to announce a new idea: The Master Debater Series. I am challenging Theodore Trumblebunks to debate me once a week.

He, or our readers, could pose a topic that you would like to hear both of our unique points of view on. I am even willing to allow Trumblebunks to post his argument here, on Franklin Willington Saves the World.

I know what you're thinking, Trumblebunks will never agree to take me on man to man. Members of the America First God Squad, like Trumblebunks, never stand for an ideological fight. Probably because they know they are wrong.

Trumblebunks, the world awaits your response. What are you afraid of? Anyone can talk, but it takes a true Patriot to be a Master Debater.

-Franklin Willington

A National Tragedy

Greetings Friends,

The response to the War on Freedom Bandz has been electric. Thanks to all of you who are joining me in boycotting American made products. There’s still time for the rest of you to jump on the bandwagon.

Today I’d like to address an issue that hits home for me. Presidential birthdays.

As many of you know, George W. Bush turned 60 yesterday. The media celebrated his birthday as if he was some sort of hero.

The media never reports on LBJ’s birthday. Why isn’t Clinton’s birthday already a national holiday? I’ll tell you why: It’s the America First God Squad news media.

That’s right folks, the main stream conservative media worships the ground Bush walks on while forgetting who the real heroes of this nation are. They may even remind you when George Washington’s birthday is. What a disgrace.

It’s time we call for action. I call on all liberals to boycott voting until we have liberal holidays. I call on Congress to make Nov. 23 national Franklin Willington day. I’ve done my part to save America, and it’s time they say thanks.

Stay strong. Don’t buy American, and don’t vote!

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume III

Greetings Friends!

Welcome to another week of Wednesdays with Willington:


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Now that North Korea has shown a provocative action toward us, do you and the rest of the pussy liberals oppose fighting them? Or will you actually approve of this war?

Trumblebunks why should you care? Supposedly they can only hit the west coast, I’m surprised you aren’t begging them to fire. But I agree with you, we shouldn’t attack them. I knew you’d come around eventually to a more pacifist position. Hope you had a happy Dependence Day.


Jack X writes:

What do you think of Governor Corzine and his behavior in New Jersey?
Sincerely,
Jack X

Well I see that Corzine plans on raising the sales tax from six to seven percent. I personally think that’s deplorable. If you are going to raise taxes, you should at least double the amount that you are taxing people. The state legislature MUST give in to a 12% sales tax. Cheers to Corzine, BOO to the New Jersey state legislature.


Thanks for your submissions. I hope you are all joining me in my boycott of American products as part of my "War on Freedom Bandz." Expect more on that in the days to come.

-Franklin Willington

Greetings Friends!

Happy Dependence Day!

This is the one time a year where I set aside time to celebrate the people’s dependence on the Federal Government.

I always love Dependence Day. It’s the one day a year I am proud to be an American.

Later today, I will be meeting with the members of my cultural sensitivity class to protest for greater government involvement in corporate interests. The looks on the faces of the kids we hired for the day makes all of it worth while.

I am planning to cook government commodities for lunch, anyone who wants to come celebrate their dependence on the government is welcome to join my rent-a-family.

Happy Dependence Day one and all!

-Franklin Willington

The War on Freedom Bandz

Greetings Friends,

As you know, during my recent trip to Kmart I was shocked to see that patriotic Freedom Bandz were made in China. After some contemplation, I have decided what course of action my readers should follow.

I am calling on you to join me in boycotting all American Made products. Until all Patriotic products are made overseas, none of us will buy anything with the "Made in the U.S.A. label."

Fortunately, this will still allow us the convenience of shopping at most major stores like Wal Mart.

O'Reilly boycotted the French and we all know how that crippled their economy. America, until all patriotic materials are made overseas, I am afraid we have no choice but to do the same.

Our goal is to drive patriotism overseas! Join me, Franklin Willington, in boycotting all American Made products! Be sure and write in and tell me how your protest is going! franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Stay Strong in Face of Patriotism

Greetings Friends!

This weekend is an important time in the fight against the America First God Squad. Heading into the July 4th weekend, communities across the country will gather for Independence Day celebrations.

It’s important for those of us who are fighting against these blatant displays of patriotism to show up in force. Burn some flags in an expression of jubilation over the defeat of the amendment. Hold a Michael Moore movie marathon. We must spread the message that America is no place for nationalism!

So as I leave to go teach my cultural sensitivity I’m calling on all of you to wear your anti-patriotism t-shirts. I’ll be decked out in my French flag gear all weekend!

We are the true patriots!

-Franklin Willington

Superman gets it

Greetings Friends

Yesterday morning I put on my spandex Superman suit and went down to the local theatre to see Superman Returns. As I promised in Wednesdays with Willington, here is my review.

Overall the movie was fun and exciting. It really didn’t seem to last as long as it actually does. Thank god for that, sometimes that spandex tends to bunch up while sitting there.

I want to thank Warner Brothers for changing a famous line in order to promote cultural sensitivity. In the old days, Superman was said to stand for “truth, justice and the American way.” In the new movie, it has been changed to “truth, justice, all that stuff.”

Bravo Superman. There’s no need to stand for just the “American way.” I salute you for opening yourself to cultural diversity.

Some may say that it’s just an attempt to appease America haters internationally and get them to see the movie. Why can’t we share our superheroes? Captain America could become Captain International Law.

So fly to go see the new superman movie. Tell Warner Bros. thanks for making Superman more culturally sensitive.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume II

Greetings Friends,

Thanks again for your submissions this week. Let's get it on!


Graham writes:
Frank,
I am currently job hunting. I have heard news reports about how wonderful the job market is for new graduates. My experiences have been very different, as in I can't find a job and have applied for numerous jobs. Why do you think this is?

Well Graham, there are two reasons for this. The first being that you are a member of the America First God Squad, and who wants to hire someone who believes that the world was created in 6 days?
The main reason, however, is George W. Bush. Move to Canada and work should quickly come calling. Sorry, but you brought it on yourself. Hope that helps!



Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Why do you and other liberals hate the flag and want to see it burned by opposing the amendment?

If I have learned anything in my cultural sensitivity class, it’s that flags are a greatly combustible item. Every time I find myself on the street for Franklin Willington’s one day protest in the life of a homeless person I’m sure to bring a flag to start a fire for warmth.

Why do you hate the poor?


Jack X writes
Dear Franklin Willington,
What are your stances on gun control?

The government should control all the guns in this country. Why? Because they are currently owned by the America First God Squad. We all like to imagine that guns are disabled with flowers and drum circles, but lets face it, they’re not. Until a democratic government systematically collects all guns no one is safe.



That’s it for this weeks edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s review of Superman Returns, the biggest blockbuster since Brokeback Mountain.
-Franklin Willington

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington Volume II

Greetings friends,

Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is the second installment of Wednesdays with Willington. Please email your questions once again to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Midterm problem

Greetings Friends,

I apologize for the unannounced hiatus, but I decided to recharge my batteries in order to start my push to take back Congress this fall.

That's right Franklin Willington is now focused on the midterm elections. I'm thrilled because it looks like the America First God Squad is about to be driven out of town, and Franklin Willington is driving the bus.

My friend Theodore Trumblebunks has suggested that I should run. He said no one would make a better target for his attack ads than myself. I was flattered, but I'm afraid that Franklin Willington is going to sit out this round.

Republicans around the country should be scared. We have a message, "we won't screw you over quite as much as the other guy." I'm having it printed on about 5000 tshirts. If you want one of these gems just send a small donation of around $1000.

America First God Squad, I've got my eye on you.

-Franklin Willington

Spreading Freedom the American Way

Greetings friends,

Today I made a trip out to Kmart. The only one near here is in the land of the America First God Squad in rural south Louisiana. I loaded up the Prius and made the trip.

After not finding anything we had stopped off for, I went to check out and while standing in the checkout line I saw a package that would even make my dear friend Theodore Trumblebunks shiver.

There hanging from the register were "Freedom Bandz." Normally I would be appalled at such a display of patriotism. There were three bands in the pack: two red, white and blue with different messages, and one with camo that read "Support our troops."

As you can imagine I was outraged. I began to scream at the clerk “How dare you shove your patriotism in my face.” All of a sudden an idea came to mind and I turned the package over to reveal the message I suspected: MADE IN CHINA.

That's right, we've now outsourced the making of “Freedom Bandz.” And for that I am thankful. With every purchase of a package of Freedom Bandz we're increasing our trade deficit with China. Think about that the next time you buy your Patriotic products. George Bush said we would spread freedom throughout the world, and for once I can say that he kept his word.

Like I said before: THERE'S NO ROOM FOR PATRIOTISM OR GOD IN THIS COUNTRY (that's why we’ve outsourced it to China).

Freedom Bandz wearers, why do you hate American made products?

-Franklin Willington

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume I

Greetings friends,

Let me welcome you to the first edition of Wednesdays with Willington. The response has been overwhelming. I had to beg people to NOT send in emails this week once my inbox became flooded. I narrowed it down to three lucky fans. Here it is folks:

Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Why would you rather have to fight the terrorists here than there?

Simple Ted, did you watch the NBA Finals? The home team was 5-1 in the series. Why? You’ve got the crowd behind you. Surely Americans wouldn’t be shooting rockets at our soldiers on our own streets, nor would they put car bombs to blow up our own buildings. Patriots like yourself would surely greet American soldiers with flowers and dancing in the streets. Hope that answers your question.



Jack X writes:

Who do you think, in American history overall (US History, that is) is the most underrated president and most overrated US president and why?

The most underrated president of all time has got to be John F. Kennedy. I do not think we give him enough credit for what he could have done. Sure, people say he had potential, but I can think of lots of things President Kennedy “might” have done. His untapped potential ranks right up there with William Henry Harrison.

I think there are two presidents tied for the most overrated; George Washington and Ronald Reagan. Now, the Conservative crazies will tell you that Reagan ended the Cold War. Not only is that not true, but Reagan is guilty of far worse. Kanye West says that Reagan “cooked up” Heroin as an answer to stop the Black Panther movement. That’s good enough evidence for me.

Next the “America First” crowd will say “how dare you attack a patriot like George Washington?” Two words: wooden teeth. How can any self respecting American support a president with wooden teeth? It’s appalling to think that the man on our most frequently traded currency could promote such awful dental hygiene.


Graham writes:

Michael Moore is the poster child of everything that is wrong with this country. What are you thoughts on this and him?

Let me guess, you are a part of the America first god squad. I will agree with you that Moore is a bad role model for the American people, not because of his movies, but because of his weight. Graham if you want to avoid falling into the Michael Moore fat crowd follow the Franklin Willington diet. Three square meals of organically grown cucumbers each day.

That’s it for this week’s addition of Wednesdays with Willington. I want to thank you all for your submissions, and feel free to get an early start on next week's questions.

Remember, Keep the faith (in yourself)

-Franklin Willington

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings friends,

I just wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow will be the first installment of Wednesdays with Willington.

Please email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

Victory

Greetings Friends!

Last week when Theodore Trumblebunks invited me to join his network of blogs, he said the following:

“An old acquaintance of mine, Franklin Willington, has added a blog, and will occasionally contribute here, and I will do likewise on his blog.” -Theodore Trumblebunks 6/16/2006

Well I’m proud to say that less than a week later I have Trumblebunks on the run. Today I asked for permission to advertise Wednesday’s with Willington on his blog. He immediately refused. Now this “flip flop” comes from his own blog:

“He's not a flaming liberal like Willington, so I may allow him to post here from time to time instead of on a separate blog.”-Theodore Trumblebunks 6/20/2006

Which is it Trumblebunks? What are you afraid of?

Now he may say that my ability to use his own words against him is something that I was trained to do during my time working for the “liberal media.” Before he even makes this accusation, let me respond. Yes, I Franklin Willington am an accomplished journalist. I admit it.

This is a great day friends. They may have the government, media and really big guns, but we have words.

Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., I’ve got my eye on you.

-Franklin Willington

p.s. Remember to email your questions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

Announcing Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

Recently Theodore Trumblebunks suggested that I open the blog up to reader emails once a week. After he launched “Thursdays with Theodore,” he suggested Fridays with Franklin. I agreed. What better way for me to educate the masses on what is right.

The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that Fridays with Franklin would be allowing conservatives to have the upper hand. That’s why I want to announce our new forum: Wednesdays with Willington. I will address all of your issues, and give you my insight and wisdom on the issues of the day. This will give me one day advance on the enemy. I will also be able to address any issues I have with Ted’s responses to the questions he receives.

Please Email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

Check back on Wednesday for your answers.

-Franklin Willington

A Sad Day in the Fight for America

Greetings friends,

Today I went to bring my Aunt to the eye doctor when I saw the most appalling sight I have ever witnessed. There, across the counter from the receptionist sat a miniature Christmas tree.

Now, you may think the appalling sight was simply a Christmas tree on display in June, but you would be far from correct. As my eyes focused in on the tree I was stunned to see that the garland was red, white and blue with a flag on the top. As I looked around I saw more garland on the railing that had flags on it as well.

I began to have a panic attack right there in the lobby! How dare this office have such a blatant display joining church and state! I demand that this display be removed immediately! Never in my life have my rights have been as blatantly violated as they were staring at this display.

It’s time we stand together friends as a united liberal front against the redneck barbarians that are destroying our country. We must send a message to these people: THERE’S NO ROOM IN THIS COUNTRY FOR GOD OR PATRIOTISM!

-Franklin Willington

Happy Male Parent's Day!

I refuse to conform to society's religious overtones on this day. Jesus called god "father." Catholics pray the "Our Father." They also refer to him as god the father and holy father. I refuse to allow society to force me to acknowledge religion.

I did have a lovely day with my male parent today. I BBQ'd some vegetarian burgers and then gave him a gift receipt for his lifetime membership to the ACLU. He was thrilled. I can't repeat what he said in this forum due to some harsh language (Dad's a lot like Theodore, who sent him a lovely card vowing to "teach me what the real world is.") But his eyes said "I love this fabulous gift."

After I left his house, I ventured downtown for a protest in support of same-sex couples right to adoption. Could you imagine how great this day would be for kids that have two dads? One day this will be a reality.

So Happy Male Parent's day to all of you with children. Especially mothers, we can't exclude them.

-Franklin Willington

How Franklin Willington is Saving America

Greetings Friends!
I apologize for taking so long to make my first real post, I was late getting home from teaching my weekly cultural sensitivity class. What a moving experience it was this week! I love bringing different cultures together and teaching them to accept their neighbor’s culture. (Hola to my Spanish speaking friends.)

I want to thank my friend Theodore Trumblebunks for inviting me to join his network of blogs. Ted’s rhetoric is dangerous to the American people. He promotes reckless behavior that harms the planet, animals, and also puts our freedom at risk.

In order to give you a better of my understanding of my relationship with Ted, let me tell you how I met him. I was reciting a poem on the plight of the endangered Polar Bear when this idiot comes running into the coffee house wearing nothing more than a star-spangled speedo screaming “Why do you hate America you damn liberal hippies?!?!?!?!” I immediately recognized this man needed an intelligent role model to help shape his mind into one of reason and intellect. Who better than Franklin Willington for such a task?

I’m not one to tout my own accomplishments, but I have spent several semesters at various Ivey League schools across the North East. I also lived in Berkley for a few years, before returning home to the South, where I continue my studies and also spend my time trying to spread progressive ideas to the uneducated. Each year I enjoy spending a few weeks in France sampling some of the worlds most delightful wines and taking in one of the most impressive cultures in the world. Theodore Trumblebunks could learn a few things about culture from the French.

Well friends, I hope you see what we’re up against. I hope to educate people like Theodore over the coming months and show that there is a more peaceful way to live in our global community.

-Franklin Willington

P.S. I am working on getting a Spanish translator so that my blog will be accessible for all Americans.

Welcome!!!!

I will use this website to help bring my wisdom to the masses. This is a dark time for America as we suffer through the second term of the Bush administration. Only I, Franklin Willington can offer you the intelligent information that you need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep the faith (in yourself)!