Tuesday, August 29, 2006

New Orleans Remembered



Greetings Friends,

This image that I created is all the message I will leave you with today, I will just remind you that tomorrow is another edition of Wednesdays with Willington, please send me a Katrina related question to franklinwillington@yahoo.com .

-Franklin Willington

Monday, August 28, 2006

This Week's True Patriot: Ray Nagin

Greetings Friends,

This week I will be focusing on a subject that is near and dear to me. Tomorrow is the one year anniversiary of 8/29. This week, I feel it appropriate to name Ray Nagin a true patriot.


You see, when Bush was playing guitar in San Diego, before flying over New Orleans for an Air Force One photo-op, Ray Nagin was down in the thick of things on 8/29. When people wouldn't listen, Ray just spoke louder.

Sure Ray has said some blunt things in the aftermath of 8/29, but they needed to be said. Everyone wants a chocolate New Orleans. Chocolate is much more pleasant than the smell the city had before!

When Ray was challenged by an America-First-God-Squad reporter on the speed of recovery in post 8/29 New Orleans, he pointed out that the World Trade Center is still nothing but a hole in the ground. If you don't respect Ray after 8/29, don't expect any in return.

Another thing that I respect about Ray Nagin is that he's a recovering Republican. That's right folks. Ray used to be one of them way back before 8/29. He supported George Bush in 2000 and Bobby Jindal in 2003. He wasn't a democrat until he decided to run for mayor, but now, after 8/29, I'm proud to say that he's in my corner.


Don't change Ray! Keep telling them like it is, even if they don't like it. The America-first-God-Squad media will keep attacking you, but I'll always have your back. Ray Nagin, true American patriot.

-Franklin Willington

Sunday, August 27, 2006

The Overrated Presidents Series

Greetings Friends,

I am pleased to introduce a new series to the blog. I'm going to point out some of the most overrated Presidents in the history of the country. Not all of them may be obvious, and we will certainly have some disagreements. If you would like to voice your opinion on my choices, feel free to email me franklinwillington@yahoo.com or just feel free to post a comment. I will also take recommendations.

This week's most overrated President: Abraham Lincoln.



Abraham Lincoln gets a lot of credit for what he did. Saving the Union, freeing the slaves, blah, blah blah, etc. What people fail to talk about is what he didn't do.

Abraham Lincoln completely ignored foreign policy! Because of Abraham Lincoln, we lost ground to those that want to do us harm. He failed to secure our ports, and under his watch more Americans died on our soil than in any other single event in our history.

Now the save-the-union-first crowd will say that he did what he had to do in order to save this great experiment in democracy. But I think Lincoln failed to protect Americans. Does this remind you of anyone else? George W. Bush and the modern Republicans perhaps? Like Bush, he talked a big game, but in the end he failed to deliver. That's a Republican for you.

How can the America first God squad historians defend his non-existant foreign policy? I demand that Lincoln be put in his place. Honest Abe was an honest failure.

-Franklin Willington

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Fighting them over there

Greetings Friends!

I want to put a challenge to you, the true patriots out there that are helping me Save the World. It's time to take our message to the masses!

I urge you to go to Conservative blogs and message boards and tell them why they're wrong. Tell them why George Bush has our country in a downward spiral. And when you find them and get them on the run, point them here, to Franklin Willington Saves the World.

Wherever there are conservatives attacking you, show them the truth. Link them here, to your hub for all that is wrong with America.

Let's start by taking it to Teddy Trumblebunks! It's time to take over the web!

Remember to keep the faith (in yourself)

-Franklin Willington

Friday, August 25, 2006

Update: War on Freedom Bandz

Greetings friends,

I've been keeping the administration on edge with the growing success of the War on Freedom Bandz. Ever since calling for a boycott on American Made products, the economy has stalled.

Let me say that I'm proud of the progress that we've made. And today I am proud to make an announcement:


That's right folks: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!! We did it!

Theodore Trumblebunks admitted defeat for his side in announcing "Teddy's Troopers." You see, if you join his "fan club," you get a bumper sticker, which of course must be manufactured in China!

Woohoo! We did a heckuva job! I am proud of you patriots! It's a great day when Teddy Trumble-America First God Squad-Bunks admits his own defeat. Thanks to you, we have Saved the World once again!

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Wednesdays with Willington Volume VIII

Greetings Friends!

I know you've been itching with anticipation for the next edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Let me say that I am quite pleased that in my answers, I am offering life changing information to you, dear readers. Can you believe this site is free?

Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Willington,
Do you actually oppose Fox News' suggestion that there should be a separate Muslim line at the airport? Why do you hate freedom and security?

Of course not Trumblebunks, I believe that we should treat them like royalty. Why subject our visitors to the same treatment that we get? You’re a big fan of that Jesus fellow, aren’t you? Didn’t he say that you should to “turn the other cheek?” It’s in the bible. So when Arabs get their on line, the screeners need to just turn the other cheek, it’s what Jesus would do.


Since Time asked, what is your take on Hillary?
-Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq.

You dare to speak the great one’s name? Bill’s wife is, in my opinion, the greatest human being in the history of mankind. She’s the perfect picture of femininity. So strong and brave, yet so gentle, sweet, and beautiful. Let me just say, I’d like to tap that. She’s got my vote.


Jack X writes

Dear Frank,
Let's say Hollywood decides to make a movie about Hurricane Katrina--the storm, the political humps associated with it, etc. Which actors do you think should play George W. Bush, Kathleen Blanco, Michael Brown, Ray Nagin, and other people associated with the storm (such as evacuees, Aaron Broussard, Mary Landrieu, David Vitter, Haley Barbour, etc.) and why?
I hope that question is interesting for you and you enjoy answering it.



There is a movie Jack. it was made by Spike Lee. It tells the truth about Katrina, like how George Bush dropped bombs out of Air Force one and blew up the levees. Did you know that Kanye West is in the documentary? I remember when he was standing there, you know at the superdome helping get aid to people and getting them out of harms way, and saying that George Bush hate’s black people. That Kanye, he’s quite the giver. I live by his workout plan.


Well folks, that does it for this weeks Wednesday with Willington. Keep the questions flowing and stay tuned for an update on the War on Freedom Bandz!

-Franklin Willington

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

This week's true patriot

Greetings Friends!

This week's true patriot is a real American Hero. Aside from being a former POW, he also has the ability to flip from hard-core Republican to moderate whenever the poll's say it's in his favor. This week's true patriot is John McCain.


You see, I admire McCain. No one has straddled both sides of the fence better than ol' Johnny boy. He's been a die hard supporter of the Bush administration and especially the war in Iraq.

McCain is now saying he believes the administration has made a mistake by not telling the American people how tough the war in Iraq would be. Bingo Senator, now you see it my way.

When McCain says that it would be a mistake to set a date for withdrawal, he is saying that he believes we need to fluctuate our strength. We need to pull our troops out and put them back in several times until our boys are ready to break the surface of the situation.

I want to make myself clear on the Iraq topic. We should have never gone into Iraq in the first place, but now that we are there, I don't believe in pulling out early. We have to stay inserted deep inside Iraq until she reaches her climax. John McCain agrees with me, that is until the public believes Bush is doing a good job with the war.

-Franklin Willington

p.s. remember to send quesitions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com


Friday, August 18, 2006

Historic day for America

Greetings Friends!

I have to apologize for the lack of Wednesdays with Willington this week. I've been a little under the weather and much like T.O., I don't know how to post at less than 100%. I will make it up to you next Wednesday.

Today is a great day friends, Snakes on a Plane is now in theaters! I've been waiting on this all summer. You see, some may say that the snakes are terrorists, but I believe that the snakes are Republicans.

That's right George Bush, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Bill Frist, they're all there. Samuel L Jackson is of course Howard Dean, leading the American people safely through the dangers posed by the republican party.

Enough is Enough, we've had it with these mothaf'n snakes running our mothaf'n government!




Watch out Republicans, Samuel L. Jackson is coming for you!


-Franklin Willington

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Reminder: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

I just want to remind everyone that tomorrow is another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Remember to send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Monday, August 14, 2006

This Weeks True Patriot

Greetings Friends,

It's that time for another edition of my "true patriot" series. This week was very difficult, until, like an angel, this patriot's story fell in my lap. This week's true patriot, is America's Mother, Cindy Sheehan.



While it's no news to you friends, Ms. Sheehan has been leading the anti-war movement since losing her son in the Iraq war.

I would have saluted her earlier, but now Ms. Sheehan has truly earned the respect of us all. First she bought land near Bush's ranch in Crawford Texas, and now Mrs. Sheehan has made an even greater sacrifice.

Cindy was on a liquid diet to protest the war in Iraq for more than a month, and only ended her Ghandi-esque strike when she was hospitalized in Seattle after protesting for several days. Then she was hospitalized again in Dallas on Friday.

Talk about committment! I dare conservatives to attack this poor victim who has risen above and beyond the call of duty. She is truly a patriot of the highest degree!

I, Franklin Willington, would like to announce that I will be making a similar sacrifice. I will not drink any of my vast French Wine collection until George Bush brings the troops home. If it's not done in the next week, I will then give up my cheese assortment. It's time for bold action friends.

Thank you Cindy Sheehan for being a true patriot!

-Franklin Willington

Friday, August 11, 2006

Great Idea by Gov. Blanco

Greetings Friends,

As you all know, I love taxes. When the Governor of New Jersey was in a standoff with the legislature over raising the sales tax there, I suggested that he wasn't asking for enough of an increase. Now, here in my home state, Gov. Kathleen Blanco has proposed to place a toll on Interstates in the Southern part of the state.

Now, anyone familiar with South Louisiana, in particular my current home of Baton Rouge, knows quite well that the interstate is really the lifeline of the area. The city is spread out across a large area, so getting from one place of interest to another can be impossible without use of these major roadways.

Governor Blanco however apparently is aiming too low. She was seeking a 1.00 toll on cars and 2.50 on trucks. And get this, you could pay only half of that if you paid ahead of time. What kind of quality tax is that? I'm ready to do my part, Governor, step up and call on the rest of the state to do theirs. I say we should all pay 5.00 for each ride on the interstate.

In honor of this great proposal, I stood today along I-10 with a collection basket asking drivers during rush-hour traffic to pay 1.00 to use our magnificent road system. I'm considering spreading this effort out to surface streets and shopping malls. If you want to use our public roadways, you should be prepared to pay. From the looks of drivers on the interstate, they loved my work today. I can't tell you the last time I had so many people wave to me. Some apparently even thought my idea was #1.

Now when I got home from my work today, I was shocked to see on the news that Governor Blanco had folded to pressure from Republican "Hurricane-victim-first" Senator David Vitter. Yesterday Vitter began crying that this plan would hurt those trying to evacuate during hurricanes, and that it would also hurt business and trucking interests. Boo hoo Senator Vitter, I think after 8/29 people should be willing to pay to get out of the path of the hurricane. As a matter of fact, I propose that we double the toll during hurricane evacuations. What an opportunity!

So Governor Blanco, man up and tell Senator Vitter that you don't care what he thinks. Help us all by charging us more to live. It's the least we can do for the service that you've provided this state.

-Franklin Willington

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Wednesdays with Willington Volume VII

Greetings Friends!

Today’s email revolves mostly around the Lieberman primary.

Jack X writes:

Do you believe Ned Lamont's victory emboldened the terrorists in England?

Jack, nothing could be further from the truth. Ned Lamont is a patriot. Terrorists fear Ned Lamont. They know that if Ned Lamont is elected we will pull out of Iraq and scale back security. That’s exactly what the terrorists don’t want to see. They want a challenge against our heightened state of security. The terrorists love George Bush and Joe Lieberman.


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Willington,

How did you and your "partners" celebrate the loss of our democracy last night (i.e., the Lamont win)?

The first thing I did was sit in a leather chair and eat a bowl of Cocoa puffs just to mock Lieberman and Colbert and their ilk. Then I ran naked through the streets waving the Connecticut flag. Sure, my neighbors thought it was weird that I had a Connecticut flag, but I’ve been preparing for VC day for awhile. I don’t know when I’ll come down off of this high Trumblebunks!

Thanks for the submissions friends, stay tuned for more on the current terror situation. Remember to go ahead and send in your emails for next week to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Wednesdays with Willington Delayed

Greetings Friends,

I have to apologize, but I must postpone Wednesdays with Willington. At the earliest it will be up by late tonight but most likely tomorrow. Please send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

-Frankin Willington

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Another True Patriot

Greetings Friends,

Besides the Joe Lieberman primary, there is another primary today drawing attention across the country. I've already discussed why Ned Lamont is the man for Connecticut, now I want to discuss Georgia Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney.

Ms. McKinney is in a battle for her political life today in her primary. I want to throw my support behind her.

You see, Ms. McKinney is crazy...Crazy about America that is. She has done her best to represent the people of her district and to fight the America First God Squad from taking over our country.

Cynthia has been fighting in the halls of Congress for the American people. She's fighting them over there, in Washington, so we don't have to fight them over here, at home.

So citizen's of Georgia's 4th district, don't be alarmed by Cynthia's passion to represent you. Embrace her, and send her back to Washington to represent us all.

Cythia McKinney, a fighter and a true American patriot.

-Franklin Willington

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Next week's true patriot

Greetings Friends!

I want to get an early start on next weeks entry in my "True Patriot" series. You see, there's an important election next week, and I want to give all of the news outlets an opportunity to announce my endorsement.

I, Franklin Willington, am officially throwing my support behind Ned Lamont in Tuesday's Senate primary in Connecticut. For the press, that's F-R-A-N-K-L-I-N Space W-I-L-L-I-N-G-T-O-N.

You see, Ned Lamont is a true patriot. Why? Because he wants to bring the troops home! Why does he want to bring the troops home? Because that's the popular position that will help him beat Joe Lieberman, former true patriot turned America First God Squad cheerleader.

If Ned has anything going for him, it's that he's not Joe Lieberman. Now don't get me wrong, I respect Joe. I even felt the Joementum at one point in 2004.

Joe knows when he's wrong and keeps on being wrong. I respect that. But sometimes, you need someone that can get in there and make things right.

Also, Joe Lieberman may be in a passionate love triangle with the president. I'm not one to accuse someone of being homosexual, but I'm sure you've seen the picture of the passionate French kiss he shared with Bush. If Ned Lamont was going to make out with a president, he'd do Bill Clinton. He's a real democrat, and a true patriot.

So Connecticut, take a stand and vote for Ned Lamont.

-Franklin Willington

Friday, August 04, 2006

Speak Softly and Carry No Stick at All

Greetings Friends,

It's a sad day here in Franklin Willingtonville. I'm afraid we may not have saved America yet at all. In fact, I'd say we've taken a few steps back.

You see, back in 2004 upon Bush's re-election, the question was asked, how can more than 50% of Americans be so studpid? I was dumbfounded. I've never felt that way before, and thought I never would again, then this from CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/08/04/bush.poll/index.html

You see, only 43% of Americans disapprove of the President's handling of the mid-east crisis. 43%?!?!?!!?! Bush has been more concerned with the pig he shared with the German chancellor than he's been with the middle east.

His brilliant policy: block a cease fire. That's right, 43% of Americans approve of the President blocking any attempt at peace. Who knows why? Maybe it's the ultimate Wag the Dog strategy. Instead of creating a war to hide your domestic scandals, you create a proxy war to hide your own war that you screwed up.

How can Americans be so stupid? Oh wait, they elected him in 2000 and 2004.

-Franklin Willington

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wednesdays with Willington: Volume VI

Greetings Friends

Welcome to another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Let's get right to the email:

Jack X writes

Hey, Frank,
I'm back from the trip to the summit. I must ask--Ken Jennings wrote in his internet blog that Alex Trebek is really a "robot." Do you think this is true--if so, how did scientists build such a perfect Asimov-type robot?



Alex Trebek has long been a role model of mine, ever since I saw him with Sean Connery on his little program. I love how Mr. Trebek knows all of the answers, a lot like me, Franklin Willington. Alex isn’t afraid to tell you when you’re wrong.

The allegation that Mr. Trebek is a robot is preposterous. Just because Trebek has had more women than Wilt Chamberlain is no reason for Jennings to attack him. Perhaps if Mr. Jennings moved out of his mother’s basement he might be able to get a piece of ass, just like that stud Trebek.


Theodore Trumblebunks writes:

Do you think Nick Saban left LSU because he's a commie liberal who couldn't take working and living in an area with real Americans?

Nick Saban is a good friend of mine Mr. Trumblebunks, and I will not stand for your McCarthy-esque attacks on his character. He didn’t have dinner with the President because he realizes that George W. Bush is an enemy of real Americans.

Real Americans aren’t the flag waving, rusty trombone loving fakers named Trumblebunks. Real Americans are the white collar educated elite from California and the North East that should be running this country. Nick Saban left LSU to be closer to real Americans along the east coast.

Thanks for your submissions this week. Keep 'em coming folks

-Franklin Willington

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington

Greetings Friends,

Just a reminder that tomorrow will be another edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Please send your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com

I'm hoping to get some good questions instead of the ridiculously biased America First God Squad questions that you guys asked me last week. Think before you submit geniuses

-Franklin Willington