Greetings Friends!
This weekend is an important time in the fight against the America First God Squad. Heading into the July 4th weekend, communities across the country will gather for Independence Day celebrations.
It’s important for those of us who are fighting against these blatant displays of patriotism to show up in force. Burn some flags in an expression of jubilation over the defeat of the amendment. Hold a Michael Moore movie marathon. We must spread the message that America is no place for nationalism!
So as I leave to go teach my cultural sensitivity I’m calling on all of you to wear your anti-patriotism t-shirts. I’ll be decked out in my French flag gear all weekend!
We are the true patriots!
-Franklin Willington
Friday, June 30, 2006
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Superman gets it
Greetings Friends
Yesterday morning I put on my spandex Superman suit and went down to the local theatre to see Superman Returns. As I promised in Wednesdays with Willington, here is my review.
Overall the movie was fun and exciting. It really didn’t seem to last as long as it actually does. Thank god for that, sometimes that spandex tends to bunch up while sitting there.
I want to thank Warner Brothers for changing a famous line in order to promote cultural sensitivity. In the old days, Superman was said to stand for “truth, justice and the American way.” In the new movie, it has been changed to “truth, justice, all that stuff.”
Bravo Superman. There’s no need to stand for just the “American way.” I salute you for opening yourself to cultural diversity.
Some may say that it’s just an attempt to appease America haters internationally and get them to see the movie. Why can’t we share our superheroes? Captain America could become Captain International Law.
So fly to go see the new superman movie. Tell Warner Bros. thanks for making Superman more culturally sensitive.
-Franklin Willington
Yesterday morning I put on my spandex Superman suit and went down to the local theatre to see Superman Returns. As I promised in Wednesdays with Willington, here is my review.
Overall the movie was fun and exciting. It really didn’t seem to last as long as it actually does. Thank god for that, sometimes that spandex tends to bunch up while sitting there.
I want to thank Warner Brothers for changing a famous line in order to promote cultural sensitivity. In the old days, Superman was said to stand for “truth, justice and the American way.” In the new movie, it has been changed to “truth, justice, all that stuff.”
Bravo Superman. There’s no need to stand for just the “American way.” I salute you for opening yourself to cultural diversity.
Some may say that it’s just an attempt to appease America haters internationally and get them to see the movie. Why can’t we share our superheroes? Captain America could become Captain International Law.
So fly to go see the new superman movie. Tell Warner Bros. thanks for making Superman more culturally sensitive.
-Franklin Willington
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Wednesdays with Willington: Volume II
Greetings Friends,
Thanks again for your submissions this week. Let's get it on!
Graham writes:
Frank,
I am currently job hunting. I have heard news reports about how wonderful the job market is for new graduates. My experiences have been very different, as in I can't find a job and have applied for numerous jobs. Why do you think this is?
Well Graham, there are two reasons for this. The first being that you are a member of the America First God Squad, and who wants to hire someone who believes that the world was created in 6 days?
The main reason, however, is George W. Bush. Move to Canada and work should quickly come calling. Sorry, but you brought it on yourself. Hope that helps!
Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Why do you and other liberals hate the flag and want to see it burned by opposing the amendment?
If I have learned anything in my cultural sensitivity class, it’s that flags are a greatly combustible item. Every time I find myself on the street for Franklin Willington’s one day protest in the life of a homeless person I’m sure to bring a flag to start a fire for warmth.
Why do you hate the poor?
Jack X writes
Dear Franklin Willington,
What are your stances on gun control?
The government should control all the guns in this country. Why? Because they are currently owned by the America First God Squad. We all like to imagine that guns are disabled with flowers and drum circles, but lets face it, they’re not. Until a democratic government systematically collects all guns no one is safe.
That’s it for this weeks edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s review of Superman Returns, the biggest blockbuster since Brokeback Mountain.
-Franklin Willington
Thanks again for your submissions this week. Let's get it on!
Graham writes:
Frank,
I am currently job hunting. I have heard news reports about how wonderful the job market is for new graduates. My experiences have been very different, as in I can't find a job and have applied for numerous jobs. Why do you think this is?
Well Graham, there are two reasons for this. The first being that you are a member of the America First God Squad, and who wants to hire someone who believes that the world was created in 6 days?
The main reason, however, is George W. Bush. Move to Canada and work should quickly come calling. Sorry, but you brought it on yourself. Hope that helps!
Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Why do you and other liberals hate the flag and want to see it burned by opposing the amendment?
If I have learned anything in my cultural sensitivity class, it’s that flags are a greatly combustible item. Every time I find myself on the street for Franklin Willington’s one day protest in the life of a homeless person I’m sure to bring a flag to start a fire for warmth.
Why do you hate the poor?
Jack X writes
Dear Franklin Willington,
What are your stances on gun control?
The government should control all the guns in this country. Why? Because they are currently owned by the America First God Squad. We all like to imagine that guns are disabled with flowers and drum circles, but lets face it, they’re not. Until a democratic government systematically collects all guns no one is safe.
That’s it for this weeks edition of Wednesdays with Willington. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s review of Superman Returns, the biggest blockbuster since Brokeback Mountain.
-Franklin Willington
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington Volume II
Greetings friends,
Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is the second installment of Wednesdays with Willington. Please email your questions once again to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
-Franklin Willington
Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is the second installment of Wednesdays with Willington. Please email your questions once again to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
-Franklin Willington
Monday, June 26, 2006
Midterm problem
Greetings Friends,
I apologize for the unannounced hiatus, but I decided to recharge my batteries in order to start my push to take back Congress this fall.
That's right Franklin Willington is now focused on the midterm elections. I'm thrilled because it looks like the America First God Squad is about to be driven out of town, and Franklin Willington is driving the bus.
My friend Theodore Trumblebunks has suggested that I should run. He said no one would make a better target for his attack ads than myself. I was flattered, but I'm afraid that Franklin Willington is going to sit out this round.
Republicans around the country should be scared. We have a message, "we won't screw you over quite as much as the other guy." I'm having it printed on about 5000 tshirts. If you want one of these gems just send a small donation of around $1000.
America First God Squad, I've got my eye on you.
-Franklin Willington
I apologize for the unannounced hiatus, but I decided to recharge my batteries in order to start my push to take back Congress this fall.
That's right Franklin Willington is now focused on the midterm elections. I'm thrilled because it looks like the America First God Squad is about to be driven out of town, and Franklin Willington is driving the bus.
My friend Theodore Trumblebunks has suggested that I should run. He said no one would make a better target for his attack ads than myself. I was flattered, but I'm afraid that Franklin Willington is going to sit out this round.
Republicans around the country should be scared. We have a message, "we won't screw you over quite as much as the other guy." I'm having it printed on about 5000 tshirts. If you want one of these gems just send a small donation of around $1000.
America First God Squad, I've got my eye on you.
-Franklin Willington
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Spreading Freedom the American Way
Greetings friends,
Today I made a trip out to Kmart. The only one near here is in the land of the America First God Squad in rural south Louisiana. I loaded up the Prius and made the trip.
After not finding anything we had stopped off for, I went to check out and while standing in the checkout line I saw a package that would even make my dear friend Theodore Trumblebunks shiver.
There hanging from the register were "Freedom Bandz." Normally I would be appalled at such a display of patriotism. There were three bands in the pack: two red, white and blue with different messages, and one with camo that read "Support our troops."
As you can imagine I was outraged. I began to scream at the clerk “How dare you shove your patriotism in my face.” All of a sudden an idea came to mind and I turned the package over to reveal the message I suspected: MADE IN CHINA.
That's right, we've now outsourced the making of “Freedom Bandz.” And for that I am thankful. With every purchase of a package of Freedom Bandz we're increasing our trade deficit with China. Think about that the next time you buy your Patriotic products. George Bush said we would spread freedom throughout the world, and for once I can say that he kept his word.
Like I said before: THERE'S NO ROOM FOR PATRIOTISM OR GOD IN THIS COUNTRY (that's why we’ve outsourced it to China).
Freedom Bandz wearers, why do you hate American made products?
-Franklin Willington
Today I made a trip out to Kmart. The only one near here is in the land of the America First God Squad in rural south Louisiana. I loaded up the Prius and made the trip.
After not finding anything we had stopped off for, I went to check out and while standing in the checkout line I saw a package that would even make my dear friend Theodore Trumblebunks shiver.
There hanging from the register were "Freedom Bandz." Normally I would be appalled at such a display of patriotism. There were three bands in the pack: two red, white and blue with different messages, and one with camo that read "Support our troops."
As you can imagine I was outraged. I began to scream at the clerk “How dare you shove your patriotism in my face.” All of a sudden an idea came to mind and I turned the package over to reveal the message I suspected: MADE IN CHINA.
That's right, we've now outsourced the making of “Freedom Bandz.” And for that I am thankful. With every purchase of a package of Freedom Bandz we're increasing our trade deficit with China. Think about that the next time you buy your Patriotic products. George Bush said we would spread freedom throughout the world, and for once I can say that he kept his word.
Like I said before: THERE'S NO ROOM FOR PATRIOTISM OR GOD IN THIS COUNTRY (that's why we’ve outsourced it to China).
Freedom Bandz wearers, why do you hate American made products?
-Franklin Willington
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Wednesdays with Willington: Volume I
Greetings friends,
Let me welcome you to the first edition of Wednesdays with Willington. The response has been overwhelming. I had to beg people to NOT send in emails this week once my inbox became flooded. I narrowed it down to three lucky fans. Here it is folks:
Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Why would you rather have to fight the terrorists here than there?
Simple Ted, did you watch the NBA Finals? The home team was 5-1 in the series. Why? You’ve got the crowd behind you. Surely Americans wouldn’t be shooting rockets at our soldiers on our own streets, nor would they put car bombs to blow up our own buildings. Patriots like yourself would surely greet American soldiers with flowers and dancing in the streets. Hope that answers your question.
Jack X writes:
Who do you think, in American history overall (US History, that is) is the most underrated president and most overrated US president and why?
The most underrated president of all time has got to be John F. Kennedy. I do not think we give him enough credit for what he could have done. Sure, people say he had potential, but I can think of lots of things President Kennedy “might” have done. His untapped potential ranks right up there with William Henry Harrison.
I think there are two presidents tied for the most overrated; George Washington and Ronald Reagan. Now, the Conservative crazies will tell you that Reagan ended the Cold War. Not only is that not true, but Reagan is guilty of far worse. Kanye West says that Reagan “cooked up” Heroin as an answer to stop the Black Panther movement. That’s good enough evidence for me.
Next the “America First” crowd will say “how dare you attack a patriot like George Washington?” Two words: wooden teeth. How can any self respecting American support a president with wooden teeth? It’s appalling to think that the man on our most frequently traded currency could promote such awful dental hygiene.
Graham writes:
Michael Moore is the poster child of everything that is wrong with this country. What are you thoughts on this and him?
Let me guess, you are a part of the America first god squad. I will agree with you that Moore is a bad role model for the American people, not because of his movies, but because of his weight. Graham if you want to avoid falling into the Michael Moore fat crowd follow the Franklin Willington diet. Three square meals of organically grown cucumbers each day.
That’s it for this week’s addition of Wednesdays with Willington. I want to thank you all for your submissions, and feel free to get an early start on next week's questions.
Remember, Keep the faith (in yourself)
-Franklin Willington
Let me welcome you to the first edition of Wednesdays with Willington. The response has been overwhelming. I had to beg people to NOT send in emails this week once my inbox became flooded. I narrowed it down to three lucky fans. Here it is folks:
Theodore Trumblebunks writes:
Why would you rather have to fight the terrorists here than there?
Simple Ted, did you watch the NBA Finals? The home team was 5-1 in the series. Why? You’ve got the crowd behind you. Surely Americans wouldn’t be shooting rockets at our soldiers on our own streets, nor would they put car bombs to blow up our own buildings. Patriots like yourself would surely greet American soldiers with flowers and dancing in the streets. Hope that answers your question.
Jack X writes:
Who do you think, in American history overall (US History, that is) is the most underrated president and most overrated US president and why?
The most underrated president of all time has got to be John F. Kennedy. I do not think we give him enough credit for what he could have done. Sure, people say he had potential, but I can think of lots of things President Kennedy “might” have done. His untapped potential ranks right up there with William Henry Harrison.
I think there are two presidents tied for the most overrated; George Washington and Ronald Reagan. Now, the Conservative crazies will tell you that Reagan ended the Cold War. Not only is that not true, but Reagan is guilty of far worse. Kanye West says that Reagan “cooked up” Heroin as an answer to stop the Black Panther movement. That’s good enough evidence for me.
Next the “America First” crowd will say “how dare you attack a patriot like George Washington?” Two words: wooden teeth. How can any self respecting American support a president with wooden teeth? It’s appalling to think that the man on our most frequently traded currency could promote such awful dental hygiene.
Graham writes:
Michael Moore is the poster child of everything that is wrong with this country. What are you thoughts on this and him?
Let me guess, you are a part of the America first god squad. I will agree with you that Moore is a bad role model for the American people, not because of his movies, but because of his weight. Graham if you want to avoid falling into the Michael Moore fat crowd follow the Franklin Willington diet. Three square meals of organically grown cucumbers each day.
That’s it for this week’s addition of Wednesdays with Willington. I want to thank you all for your submissions, and feel free to get an early start on next week's questions.
Remember, Keep the faith (in yourself)
-Franklin Willington
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
REMINDER: Wednesdays with Willington
Greetings friends,
I just wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow will be the first installment of Wednesdays with Willington.
Please email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
I just wanted to remind everyone that tomorrow will be the first installment of Wednesdays with Willington.
Please email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
Victory
Greetings Friends!
Last week when Theodore Trumblebunks invited me to join his network of blogs, he said the following:
“An old acquaintance of mine, Franklin Willington, has added a blog, and will occasionally contribute here, and I will do likewise on his blog.” -Theodore Trumblebunks 6/16/2006
Well I’m proud to say that less than a week later I have Trumblebunks on the run. Today I asked for permission to advertise Wednesday’s with Willington on his blog. He immediately refused. Now this “flip flop” comes from his own blog:
“He's not a flaming liberal like Willington, so I may allow him to post here from time to time instead of on a separate blog.”-Theodore Trumblebunks 6/20/2006
Which is it Trumblebunks? What are you afraid of?
Now he may say that my ability to use his own words against him is something that I was trained to do during my time working for the “liberal media.” Before he even makes this accusation, let me respond. Yes, I Franklin Willington am an accomplished journalist. I admit it.
This is a great day friends. They may have the government, media and really big guns, but we have words.
Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., I’ve got my eye on you.
-Franklin Willington
p.s. Remember to email your questions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
Last week when Theodore Trumblebunks invited me to join his network of blogs, he said the following:
“An old acquaintance of mine, Franklin Willington, has added a blog, and will occasionally contribute here, and I will do likewise on his blog.” -Theodore Trumblebunks 6/16/2006
Well I’m proud to say that less than a week later I have Trumblebunks on the run. Today I asked for permission to advertise Wednesday’s with Willington on his blog. He immediately refused. Now this “flip flop” comes from his own blog:
“He's not a flaming liberal like Willington, so I may allow him to post here from time to time instead of on a separate blog.”-Theodore Trumblebunks 6/20/2006
Which is it Trumblebunks? What are you afraid of?
Now he may say that my ability to use his own words against him is something that I was trained to do during my time working for the “liberal media.” Before he even makes this accusation, let me respond. Yes, I Franklin Willington am an accomplished journalist. I admit it.
This is a great day friends. They may have the government, media and really big guns, but we have words.
Theodore Trumblebunks, I, Esq., I’ve got my eye on you.
-Franklin Willington
p.s. Remember to email your questions for Wednesdays with Willington to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
Monday, June 19, 2006
Announcing Wednesdays with Willington
Greetings Friends,
Recently Theodore Trumblebunks suggested that I open the blog up to reader emails once a week. After he launched “Thursdays with Theodore,” he suggested Fridays with Franklin. I agreed. What better way for me to educate the masses on what is right.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that Fridays with Franklin would be allowing conservatives to have the upper hand. That’s why I want to announce our new forum: Wednesdays with Willington. I will address all of your issues, and give you my insight and wisdom on the issues of the day. This will give me one day advance on the enemy. I will also be able to address any issues I have with Ted’s responses to the questions he receives.
Please Email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
Check back on Wednesday for your answers.
-Franklin Willington
Recently Theodore Trumblebunks suggested that I open the blog up to reader emails once a week. After he launched “Thursdays with Theodore,” he suggested Fridays with Franklin. I agreed. What better way for me to educate the masses on what is right.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that Fridays with Franklin would be allowing conservatives to have the upper hand. That’s why I want to announce our new forum: Wednesdays with Willington. I will address all of your issues, and give you my insight and wisdom on the issues of the day. This will give me one day advance on the enemy. I will also be able to address any issues I have with Ted’s responses to the questions he receives.
Please Email your questions to franklinwillington@yahoo.com
Check back on Wednesday for your answers.
-Franklin Willington
A Sad Day in the Fight for America
Greetings friends,
Today I went to bring my Aunt to the eye doctor when I saw the most appalling sight I have ever witnessed. There, across the counter from the receptionist sat a miniature Christmas tree.
Now, you may think the appalling sight was simply a Christmas tree on display in June, but you would be far from correct. As my eyes focused in on the tree I was stunned to see that the garland was red, white and blue with a flag on the top. As I looked around I saw more garland on the railing that had flags on it as well.
I began to have a panic attack right there in the lobby! How dare this office have such a blatant display joining church and state! I demand that this display be removed immediately! Never in my life have my rights have been as blatantly violated as they were staring at this display.
It’s time we stand together friends as a united liberal front against the redneck barbarians that are destroying our country. We must send a message to these people: THERE’S NO ROOM IN THIS COUNTRY FOR GOD OR PATRIOTISM!
-Franklin Willington
Today I went to bring my Aunt to the eye doctor when I saw the most appalling sight I have ever witnessed. There, across the counter from the receptionist sat a miniature Christmas tree.
Now, you may think the appalling sight was simply a Christmas tree on display in June, but you would be far from correct. As my eyes focused in on the tree I was stunned to see that the garland was red, white and blue with a flag on the top. As I looked around I saw more garland on the railing that had flags on it as well.
I began to have a panic attack right there in the lobby! How dare this office have such a blatant display joining church and state! I demand that this display be removed immediately! Never in my life have my rights have been as blatantly violated as they were staring at this display.
It’s time we stand together friends as a united liberal front against the redneck barbarians that are destroying our country. We must send a message to these people: THERE’S NO ROOM IN THIS COUNTRY FOR GOD OR PATRIOTISM!
-Franklin Willington
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Happy Male Parent's Day!
I refuse to conform to society's religious overtones on this day. Jesus called god "father." Catholics pray the "Our Father." They also refer to him as god the father and holy father. I refuse to allow society to force me to acknowledge religion.
I did have a lovely day with my male parent today. I BBQ'd some vegetarian burgers and then gave him a gift receipt for his lifetime membership to the ACLU. He was thrilled. I can't repeat what he said in this forum due to some harsh language (Dad's a lot like Theodore, who sent him a lovely card vowing to "teach me what the real world is.") But his eyes said "I love this fabulous gift."
After I left his house, I ventured downtown for a protest in support of same-sex couples right to adoption. Could you imagine how great this day would be for kids that have two dads? One day this will be a reality.
So Happy Male Parent's day to all of you with children. Especially mothers, we can't exclude them.
-Franklin Willington
I did have a lovely day with my male parent today. I BBQ'd some vegetarian burgers and then gave him a gift receipt for his lifetime membership to the ACLU. He was thrilled. I can't repeat what he said in this forum due to some harsh language (Dad's a lot like Theodore, who sent him a lovely card vowing to "teach me what the real world is.") But his eyes said "I love this fabulous gift."
After I left his house, I ventured downtown for a protest in support of same-sex couples right to adoption. Could you imagine how great this day would be for kids that have two dads? One day this will be a reality.
So Happy Male Parent's day to all of you with children. Especially mothers, we can't exclude them.
-Franklin Willington
Saturday, June 17, 2006
How Franklin Willington is Saving America
Greetings Friends!
I apologize for taking so long to make my first real post, I was late getting home from teaching my weekly cultural sensitivity class. What a moving experience it was this week! I love bringing different cultures together and teaching them to accept their neighbor’s culture. (Hola to my Spanish speaking friends.)
I want to thank my friend Theodore Trumblebunks for inviting me to join his network of blogs. Ted’s rhetoric is dangerous to the American people. He promotes reckless behavior that harms the planet, animals, and also puts our freedom at risk.
In order to give you a better of my understanding of my relationship with Ted, let me tell you how I met him. I was reciting a poem on the plight of the endangered Polar Bear when this idiot comes running into the coffee house wearing nothing more than a star-spangled speedo screaming “Why do you hate America you damn liberal hippies?!?!?!?!” I immediately recognized this man needed an intelligent role model to help shape his mind into one of reason and intellect. Who better than Franklin Willington for such a task?
I’m not one to tout my own accomplishments, but I have spent several semesters at various Ivey League schools across the North East. I also lived in Berkley for a few years, before returning home to the South, where I continue my studies and also spend my time trying to spread progressive ideas to the uneducated. Each year I enjoy spending a few weeks in France sampling some of the worlds most delightful wines and taking in one of the most impressive cultures in the world. Theodore Trumblebunks could learn a few things about culture from the French.
Well friends, I hope you see what we’re up against. I hope to educate people like Theodore over the coming months and show that there is a more peaceful way to live in our global community.
-Franklin Willington
P.S. I am working on getting a Spanish translator so that my blog will be accessible for all Americans.
I apologize for taking so long to make my first real post, I was late getting home from teaching my weekly cultural sensitivity class. What a moving experience it was this week! I love bringing different cultures together and teaching them to accept their neighbor’s culture. (Hola to my Spanish speaking friends.)
I want to thank my friend Theodore Trumblebunks for inviting me to join his network of blogs. Ted’s rhetoric is dangerous to the American people. He promotes reckless behavior that harms the planet, animals, and also puts our freedom at risk.
In order to give you a better of my understanding of my relationship with Ted, let me tell you how I met him. I was reciting a poem on the plight of the endangered Polar Bear when this idiot comes running into the coffee house wearing nothing more than a star-spangled speedo screaming “Why do you hate America you damn liberal hippies?!?!?!?!” I immediately recognized this man needed an intelligent role model to help shape his mind into one of reason and intellect. Who better than Franklin Willington for such a task?
I’m not one to tout my own accomplishments, but I have spent several semesters at various Ivey League schools across the North East. I also lived in Berkley for a few years, before returning home to the South, where I continue my studies and also spend my time trying to spread progressive ideas to the uneducated. Each year I enjoy spending a few weeks in France sampling some of the worlds most delightful wines and taking in one of the most impressive cultures in the world. Theodore Trumblebunks could learn a few things about culture from the French.
Well friends, I hope you see what we’re up against. I hope to educate people like Theodore over the coming months and show that there is a more peaceful way to live in our global community.
-Franklin Willington
P.S. I am working on getting a Spanish translator so that my blog will be accessible for all Americans.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Welcome!!!!
I will use this website to help bring my wisdom to the masses. This is a dark time for America as we suffer through the second term of the Bush administration. Only I, Franklin Willington can offer you the intelligent information that you need to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep the faith (in yourself)!
Keep the faith (in yourself)!
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